HE'S IN HEAVEN ❤️

I never believed anything else. Maybe because I had nothing else to believe. Mother's response to the unending questions my older sister and I had about father's whereabout was - "he's in heaven with Jesus, he's taking care of us from there." At least, I knew Jesus through Sunday School teachings and he too is a good man. "If it happens that father was really in heaven with Jesus, like mother had always said, he's safe" - I thought to myself.

A good man lived this earth and left at 31. I call him good because that's what everyone else who knew him called him. The stories I heard and still hear about him are all good stories. They were about a family oriented and hardworking man who's kind and philanthropic. One might ask, "ain't everyone said to be good once they die?" I don't think so.

I wish he was still alive. Better still, I wish I got to know him before he passed. If he had not left early, he would have made sure his children got the best education and opportunities, he would have fought and protected us from unfair life circumstances and most importantly, I would have had memorable moments that I'd keep for a lifetime and reminisce on whenever I missed him. But life happened. And you know what they say about life? It's unpredictable.

Although momma said pops is safe in heaven watching over us, some nights, I would not help but wallow in thoughts of him. I was told I was barely a week old when he passed. He carried me on his death bed and called me Uchechi, signifying 'Let God's will be done'. Few days later, he died.

I still don't want to believe that it was God's will for my father to die, for my young and naive mother to be a widow and suffer in the hands of his patriarchal brothers and for my sister and I to become fatherless. I still try to convince myself that there was an error somewhere, not from God, maybe from the medics or wherever, but definitely not God.

I get so emotional whenever I think about father. Even as I write this piece, I'm trying not to be a cry baby; these tears don't seem dry up, do they? But I must say, the name father gave me works great things. God's Will has not stopped manifesting in my life.

My life has been a product of grace and hard work. I decided while growing up that I was going to be the best version of me, come rain or sun. I have been motivated from a young age to strive for excellence because that's the perfect answer I would give to the doubters and the haters (in #MichelleObama's voice).

Mother made sure she gave me a solid foundation which is education. Education has helped me hold body and soul together and keep my head above water. Continuous unlearning and relearning has forged the person of impact that I am today and I am becoming.

I’ve tarried in telling my story. That’s b/cos been waiting for the best time until I realised that there no such thing like the right time. I wrote this inspired by #Tony O. Elumelu, C.O.N post on 19 Oct - Remember to tell your Story, extract from TOE Mentorship session.